Affirmative Consent - Affirmative consent is a knowing, voluntary, and mutual decision among all participants to engage in sexual activity. Consent can be given by words or actions, as long as those words or actions create clear permission regarding willingness to engage in sexual activity. Silence or lack of resistance, in and of itself, does not demonstrate consent. The definition of consent does not vary based upon a participant’s sex, sexual orientation, gender identity, or gender expression. Consent to any sexual act or prior consensual sexual activity between or with any party does not necessarily constitute consent to any other sexual act.
- Consent is required regardless of whether the person initiating the act is under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol.
- Consent may be initially given but withdrawn at any time. When consent is withdrawn or can no longer be given, sexual activity must stop.
- Consent cannot be given when a person is incapacitated, which occurs when an individual lacks the ability to knowingly choose to participate in sexual activity. Incapacitation may be caused by the lack of consciousness or being asleep, being involuntarily restrained, or if an individual otherwise cannot consent. Depending on the degree of intoxication, someone who is under the influence of alcohol, drugs, or other intoxicants may be incapacitated and therefore unable to consent.
- Consent cannot be given when it is the result of any coercion, intimidation, force, or threat of harm.
Learn to understand consent better here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZwvrxVavnQ
Dating Violence – refers to a pattern of violent behavior (including, but not limited to, sexual or physical abuse or the threat of such abuse) committed by a person who is or has been in a social relationship of a romantic or intimate nature with the victim.
The existence of such a relationship shall be determined based on a consideration of the following factors:
• the length of the relationship
• the type of relationship
• the frequency of interaction between the persons involved in the relationship
Domestic Violence – refers to a felony or misdemeanor crime of violence between spouses, former spouses, or intimate partners, cohabitating romantic partners or individuals who were formerly cohabitating romantic partners, individuals who share a child in common or individuals who are similarly situated to spouses and/or individuals who are protected from the other person’s acts under the domestic or family violence laws of the jurisdiction in which the acts of violence occurs.
Sexual Assault – Consistent with federal law, sexual assault is defined by the College as including:
Non-Consensual Sexual Intercourse – these sexual assaults can be sub-defined by the following:
• Rape: the penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or anus with any body part or object, or oral penetration by a sex organ of another person, forcibly or without affirmative consent or where the victim is incapable of giving affirmative consent due to incapacitation.
• Statutory rape: non-forcible sexual intercourse with a person who is under the statutory age of consent.
Non-Consensual Sexual Contact – intentionally having any physical contact, however slight, for purposes of sexual gratification or with sexual intent, with another person’s private body parts without his/her affirmative consent. Acts of non-consensual sexual contact may include, but are not limited to, the touching of a person’s buttocks, penis, vagina, breasts; and/or touching of another person with said body parts; and/or making another touch you in such a manner.
Sexual Exploitation – when one takes non-consensual sexual advantage of another. Said behaviors may include, but are not limited to, any audio and/or visual recording of a consensual sexual act without the person’s knowledge; distributing, without the prior consent or knowledge of the victim of exploitation, an audio and/or visual recording of a consensual sexual act; voyeurism; forcing or causing another without affirmative consent to touch one’s own private body parts, engaging in sexual activity with another while knowingly infected with HIV or another STD without informing the other person of such infection; attempting to incapacitate someone for the purposes of committing sexual assault or unwanted sexual contact; exposing one’s genitals in non-consensual circumstances or inducing another to expose their genitals.
Sexual Harassment - Sexual Harassment is a form of harassment with specific distinguishing characteristics, which are described below. Sexual harassment is a type of prohibited sex-based discrimination. Sexual harassment may be verbal, written, visual or physical. Unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors and other verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature constitute sexual harassment when:
- submission to such conduct is made either explicitly or implicitly as a term or condition of an individual’s education/employment;
- submission to or rejection of such conduct by an individual is used as the basis for education/employment decisions affecting such individual; or
- such conduct has the purpose or effect of unreasonably interfering with an individual’s work performance or creating an intimidating, hostile, or offensive educational/working environment.
Merely by way of illustration, sexual harassment includes, but is not limited to, the following kinds of behavior:
- Exposing a person to unwanted insulting, degrading, or oppressive sexual remarks, jokes, innuendoes, or other sexually oriented conduct (including, among other things, graphic or descriptive comments relating to an individual’s body or physical appearance; sexually oriented teasing or pranks; improper suggestions, objects, or pictures; unwanted physical contact);
- Repeatedly subjecting a person to unwelcome sexual attention or advances; or
- Making threats, demands, or suggestions that an employee’s working conditions or a student’s grade depends in any way upon tolerating or accepting sexual advances or sexual conduct. This is referred to a “quid pro quo” (or “this for that”) harassment. “Quid pro quo” harassment can be expressly stated, but it can also be implied by words, actions or the surrounding circumstances. No person should believe that any other person – regardless of their title with Hilbert College – has the right to pressure another person for sexual activity; they do not.
Stalking – The term stalking means engaging in a course of conduct directed at a specific person that would cause a reasonable person to fear for his or her safety or the safety of others, or suffer substantial emotional distress.
Stalking can include, but is not limited to:
• Repeated, unwanted, intrusive, and frightening communications from the perpetrator by phone, mail, and/or email.
• Repeatedly leaving or sending victim unwanted items, presents, or flowers.
• Following or lying in wait for the victim at places such as home, school, work, or recreation place.
• Making direct or indirect threats to harm the victim, the victim's children, relatives, friends, or pets.
• Damaging or threatening to damage the victim's property.
• Harassing victim through the internet.
• Posting information or spreading rumors about the victim on the internet, in a public place, or by word of mouth.
• Obtaining personal information about the victim by accessing public records, using internet search services, hiring private investigators, going through the victim's garbage, following the victim, contacting victim's friends, family work, or neighbors, etc.
Examples of abuse in a relation or leading to abuse:
- Extreme jealousy from partner when speaking to others
- Your partner calls you names and puts you down
- Your partner is constantly checking up on you
- Your partner isolates you from family and friends
- Your partner threatens you
- Your partner is possessive
- Your partner is abusive and loses his/her temper and doesn’t take responsibility for actions
- Your partner makes all the decisions for you
- Your partner demands sexual intimacy when you are not interested
- Your partner physically or sexually assaults you
Some ways one can leave an abusive relationship
- Inform Hilbert’s Title IX Coordinator or Counselor
- Recognize the signs that you are in an abusive relationship
- Find help- whether its friends, family, online or at a shelter
- Get a restraining order
- Heal- time to begin your recovery
Resources: